the morning rain washed my perfectly planned day away. tsk.

i dont really like to stay at home.
at the same time, i dun really like staying out at others.
but at least, when i'm out i get the peace i want.



my house is a "room and house's doors all open and please do not lock them for no speacial reason. room is freaking stuffy, window should be shut at all times(SOMEONE MIGHT PEEP OR LIZARDS MIGHT COME IN). pathetic small fan with only aircon in master room"








i just want to shut my room door to keep my parents out.
i cant.
reason being, it will be too stuffy for me. i'll die.
they will pop in even more often, thinking what the hell you're doing in there with door closed.


i just want to stone in my room with sun shinning into the room, instead of fluoroscence lamps.
i cant.
"dont open ok...dust will come in, lizards run in, people peep in and they might take your things"
but i'll usually open it.
i dun care.


i cant just shut the door and be alone.
i want to relax and i want my time alone...
just myself, doing things i want.
not what others think i should.

she will start her music, non-stop.
even when i'm trying to watch the VCD i rent.

its not like i dont want to be helpful.
i can do housework. i'll do it!


every little thing that i wish to move out.
look.
not even the both of them can understand.
now that i'm the only one left to faced them for most of the time.
every little thing is me.



sometimes i wonder why i was happier when i'm younger.
thats when both of them are staying in here to share the loads with me.






























i want to be there.